Pine Wood Derby

A few Fridays ago we all went to Calvin's Pine Wood Derby race. Races, actually, because this thing is totally legit and there were 36 heats--which I thought was a bit excessive but clearly nobody was asking my opinion. All of the cars had names that conjured up notions of speed, hotness and/or intimidation. Behold, just a few that I can remember:

Death Widow

Speed Flame

Obi Wan Kenobiator

Fire Racer

Valiant (which was a clever play on both the old car and the virtue)

And then their was Calvin's car. Dietetic Lunch. This name comes from an ongoing joke between Calvin and myself, and believe me, his car nearly lived up to it's inspiring name. (Because nothing says speed and aerodynamics--and just blatant testosterone in general--like Dietetic Lunch.) The car placed 4th in all of it's heats except three. He placed 3rd once and twice was disqualified for not crossing the finish line. The lone 3rd place finish was because one of the other cars flipped off the track, so technically he placed last in that race as well. He may have come in last in every heat, but this being Cub Scouts, he didn't leave without a commemorative certificate indicating his car had the most creative name. We were very proud. I would have included this accolade in the above photo with Dietetic Lunch, if we hadn't already misplaced it.

Because Calvin is Calvin, he was singularly unaffected in any way by the poor performance of his car in the races. In fact, Sid was much more concerned about the outcome of the evening, and poor Josie was just ticked. She didn't find any amusement in losing and pretty clearly indicated that her night had been completely wasted. Well, not completely wasted. The refreshments were phenomenal and she and the others all feasted on chips, donut holes, Cheetos (both the crunchy and the poofy) and cookies in all their varieties. I suppose that they were just trying to chew their sorrows. Tommy spent the evening productively, leading Pie and myself through a rigorous aerobic workout right there in the cultural hall as we were forced to chase him every time his little feet hit the floor. His ultimate goal in trying to lose us: To get his hands on the tiny Lego Obi Wan Kenobi glued to the top of the Obi Wan Kenobiator.

Calvin is excited for next year's race and has already come up with a super name for his car: The Butterball.