Yesterday I was walking around in the backyard and I noticed a nest in one of our Amur maple trees. It was a tiny nest (it is a tiny tree), and I further noticed that the nest had lots of little black squiggles of bird poop along the edge of it. I have always thought that birds are a bit disgusting, and this just reaffirmed that for me, but still, what I was looking at was good news. I excitedly told the children inside the house to turn off Pucca and come out in the yard to look at our new pet! Or Pets!

We aren't really sure how many birds are involved but we have seen two "parent-type" birds flying around. Josie hopped up on the fence to try and peek into the nest and swore (my kids with the swearing!) she saw a baby bird. But like I said these birds are really tiny and Jos is no ornithologist, so we still don't know much about our new pets. I gently pulled the branch down a little to try and get Josie a better look, when all of a sudden one of the adult birds flew out of a different part of the tree and "buzzed" me, causing me to simultaneously fling the branch back and do my "freakout dance". Pie just loves this move of mine, and will be sad to learn that he missed it. Basically, it is kind of a hoppy, skittery white-girl version of Michael Jackson's Thriller leg jiggle, but without sequined glove and the red leather Member's Only jacket. (But I was in my pajamas, and MJ has been wearing his ever since the trial.) I was a dance major, you know, so the thing isn't without a certain natural grace and fluidity. I should also note there is a scream involved. Anyway, both Jos and I were kind of freaked and decided it was time to go see about dinner. Today, things out at the nest seemed to be calmed down a bit, although one of the birds definitely kept a black beady eye on me. I took a picture of it, sitting there on the branch. I think it is a golden finch. But I am probably just making that up. Here is what we know:

At least two birds that can fly

Poop covered nest

One, possibly two baby birds

Bloodthirsty, beady-eyed and green bellied parents

Hard to see, but the disgusting nest is right in the middle of this picture.

*I feel that I should note that in spell checking this post, I discovered that for my whole adult life, I have been under the mistaken impression that the word is "orinthologist". It is actually "ornithologist". Idiot!

Self Portraits

Josie and Jon brought home some art work today. Self portraits. It is always interesting to me to see what lurks in the minds of my children, especially regarding how they see themselves. One of the "fun" parts of having 2 kids the same age is comparing them to each other and seeing who is better, smarter, more obedient, fresher smelling, etc. Just kidding. But it is amusing as a parent to take the standard truth of "they are all so different" and apply it to two kids the same age, with the same upbringing--two kids who have been together nearly every waking moment of their lives--wombmates--and see how things turn out. Well, their art work turned out better than my attempts to photograph them (add photography to the list of things I can't even fake convincingly) and so I apologize. Darn flash--these portraits were laminated! Anyway, please note the careful placement of each feature and line on Jon's picture, and contrast it with Josie's, shall we say, joie de vivre. Jon's picture even looks concerned. Josie's looks like she might break into cartwheels. Kids. A hoot, I tell ya.

Crest Blue Sparkle, Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

This just in! It's not just a.......

Nutritional supplement,

Meal replacement,

Snack food,

Artistic medium,

Hair Gel,

Eco-friendly Moisturizer and Exfoliant in One,

or the raw material for a rad soul patch,

Kids Crest Sparkle Blue Flavor (R) can also be used as a tooth paste.

Birthday For Josie and Jon

On Wednesday the twins turned 7. On Tuesday Tommy was sick with a stomach bug. So by Wednesday afternoon, as I was dragging myself through Target looking for birthday gifts, I realized two things:

-I wasn't doing the best job choosing birthday presents for these two--I couldn't get my brain to focus on the task at hand. The toy department seemed overwhelming, and this was because...

-I was going to be sick. Probably right after cake and ice cream.

So not the best timing on my part, but at least I was able to keep it together through Wednesday and not totally ruin the birthdays. I still felt guilty though, enough so that I spent more on the birthday presents than I had intended. And I bought Jon a guitar, which I think says quite a lot about my mental state. I'm not sure a guitar for a seven year old is the wisest purchase, considering this seven year old has a little brother that wants nothing more than to subject the instrument to some rigorous stomp testing--plus not to mention Jos, a force of unintentional destruction. So anyway,

The "party" was alright. Earlier in the day I had managed to whip up a dirt cake, and thanks to Pie and those rotisserie chickens at the grocery, I really didn't have to cook. We went straight for the presents after dinner. As these pictures show, the dress code was rather more relaxed than our usual family parties, what with the nudity and all (Jon is shirtless and Josie is pantsless and Tommy is diaper-nakey, all common choices here in the Konchar home, just not usually during planned events) but it is what it is. And I was just happy to make it through the evening. Yesterday was a different story. I spent yesterday wishing for unconsciousness. But we don't need to get into that.

Calvin, Josie and Jon Commune With Nature (and a Jet Ski)

While Pie and I were off gallivanting around Steamboat, our children were left home to fend for themselves. Actually, Sid was left at his best friend Addison's home, to begin his first two days of 7th grade without his parents. He seemed pleased with the arrangement. Tommy stayed with Nana, Papa, and unlimited ice cream cones. He too was happy. But the kids who made out the best, by far, were the three middles, Calvin, Jos and Jon, because they got to go part way up to Steamboat with us. In Hot Sulphur Springs (sounds delicious, doesn't it?), Aunt Janna and Uncle Matt graciously hosted our three (plus their three) for two days and two nights of fun, Fun, FUN! I am not kidding you that my kids went on an adventure holiday while we were gone that began with:

Jet Ski and tube rides around the reservoir. They did this for approximately 5 hours the afternoon that we dropped them off. To say they enjoyed it is a gross underestimation. They loved it! They begged to go back. Still begging, actually.

The next morning the kids and some friends went on a nature hike. I laughed when I heard this, because our kids whine and demand to be carried half way through any walks we take around our neighborhood, which we find infuriating and embarrassing. But apparently the lure of nature caught them off guard and they managed the whole thing without a complaint.

Maybe it was the ready availability of sticks.......

And water..... Later they went swimming at the Hot Springs. Mostly they swam in the non-stinky pool.
But they also hung out in one of the "springs". Here we have Jon, Casey, Annabelle, Cally, Josie and Calvin.

Later there was a weeny roast back home in the back yard. Apparently there were marshmallows and chocolate involved.

Casey and Cally

Uncle Matt along with some very trail-weary kids. I cannot imagine what the bathtub must have looked like after they hosed these kids down.
The story goes that Jos set about 5 marshmallows on fire. And each time, she panicked and shoved her burning marshmallow into the dirt. My brother and Janna are very good sports.
The last morning. I don't know if this was a compound or impromptu garage sale they set up, but the recipe for fun seems about right: kids, toys, dirt. More fun. The 4 wheeler. Wisely, Janna used her child labor force to plant crops out in the field.
This is the skull of some dead bird that Josie is balancing on that stick. The skull and the stick were left along the trail.
This is Calvin's arrowhead that he deftly caught in the butterfly net.
The waterfall/pond that Matt and Janna built on the side of their yard. When you go to look at it, Casey informs you that you cannot fish in it.
Holy. Cow. Can you believe the fun things my kids got to do? Can you believe that Janna did all this with SIX KIDS? Can you believe that I was able to wrangle my kids into the car and away from all the fun? I hope this will become a yearly tradition for the cousins--I just don't know how I'm gonna compete here in suburbia when we switch and the cousins visit here. Let's see, we've got lots of DVD's.......

A Big Shout Out To Shay

Our new look is all monkey, and it is all thanks to Shay. I would tell you to check out her amazing blog, but it is private. Too bad for you, because her family is so cool (and beautiful!) and the blog decor is incredible. So thank you, Shay. Thank you from the bottom of my tech-challenged heart. You rock. If I could pick you up a Sprinkles red velvet cupcake or 4, I would. That's gratitude.

My Five Little Monkeys

As a fun activity to waste time and also a way to celebrate my ever-increasing addiction to google image, I have prepared for you this little picture quiz:

Which picture belongs to Sid, Calvin, Josie, Jon and Tommy?

A.

B. C. D.

E.

Should be pretty easy.

For those of you who aren't quite sure, the order is as follows:

Josie

Calvin

Tommy

Sid

Jon

And if any of you know how I can make these pictures into a "collage" across the top of my blog, I will be very grateful for the help.

What My Days Are Like

Christian (Vegor) and Kirsten (yes, our parents named two of us Christian and Kirsten and didn't even realize until after the fact how similar the names sound) have requested a post from Jon. This afternoon I spent some time madly typing while he prattled on about "his life", a topic that he likes to promote whenever he can. He was very particular about punctuation and emphasis, and is responsible for the "....... " that occurs in the body of the text and also any EMPHATICALLY CAPITALIZED words. This picture is nearly 2 years old, when the twins turned 5, but that's what we're going with today.

My name is Jon. I am going to teach you about my life. So what I am going to start with is:

1) I want to tell you about my day at school. When I was in the line I played with my friend's cars. And then went inside and.....I made my lunch choice and it was pizza. Then I got my book box. A book box is a small type of box and you put your books in it. So you can read at reading time. Now, where was I? And then we go to the meeting area for an activity. And then our teacher read a book to us. And how about I describe my teacher? She has blonde hair and she loves to wear black. And she has blue eyes. She has dark brown eyebrows and she is really tall. She has a good personality. She is pretty. And now back to my day. After the story we do writing. And I like to write about Batman and Spiderman. After that we go to a different person's classroom to do an activity.

2) Josie's life at school is sometimes Josie cries in school. We are in the same class. She does a different personality than me. Her personality is funniness and friendness and her best friend is Liam. We don't really be together in class much, and recess. I used to play with Liam but that got old so I played Robot. And sometimes kickball. Josie plays Star Wars with Liam. I play with Hannah, Jacob, Nate, Zach, Brandon, Kevin, Kagan and Noah. And that is about it. Sometimes Zach is mean to me and my team. Zach has kind of red hair related to brown. Blue dark eyes and sometimes he says b-u-t-t. And he says freakn idiot. And I do not spend a lot of time with him either. He says Josie is a small pick-sqweaks. And one time he called me A DORK! And now about my day again: So after recess we do book buddies and then we write in our math books. I don't really like math but I get over it. And then we do math tubs. And then we do tech. But I don't really enjoy it. And why I don't like tech is sometimes things are too HARD! And also sometimes Nathan bothers me. And how he bothers me is by he calls me not so understanding of words in saying it, because he thinks I say it, like duh, duh, duh, duh. But he says it too. But he does not hear it. And I hear him say it, like duh duh duh don't, only in a very fast way and that is why he doesn't hear it.

3) And do you want to hear about the girls? YES! Well, here are the girls. The first is Taylor. And the second is Kathleen, and the third is Meagan, and the fourth is Kara, and the last is Kat. Taylor looks pretty and Kathleen looks very very nice and Meagan looks understandable, because she understands a lot of things. Kara looks cute, and she really does. Kat is the very very smart one, and sometimes she is beautiful like Taylor, but not all the time. And I haven't decided who I am going to marry yet. I will get married when I am over 16. I want 6 kids, three to be boys. My job will be a cash register guy, I think. Because it is fun. And also I would work at a restaurant, cooking some recipes. And to finish up about my classroom:

4) We have P. E. and we play games with balls like bowling shoe tag. Bowling shoe tag is when you bowl at their foot and then they are out, well, if it hits them of course. And if the person who got you out then you get to get back up. Then we eat our snacks and our teacher reads a book to us. Then we ride the bus home.

That is it.

Where Was I?

When Josie caught wind of her brother's post, she felt she just had to be included. She is even more particular than Jon when it comes to "art direction", so believe me, she thought long and hard about each little thing that is on this page. And this is one of her favorite pictures, called "Witch Hair".

Hi, my name is Josie. I have a twin named Jon. Now where was I? Oh yes, my twin is very bossy sometimes. He just learned how to make Bionicle Lego's. Where was I? Oh, I remember! And I am the prettiest in school. Just mocking! Where was I? Oh yeah. Uh, throughout the story, um, maybe there won't be "where was I's". My best friend is Liam. Liam's name spelled backwards is "mail". And I like to play with Jason. Jason how I meant him was he was my lion tamer in the Kindergarten circus. I was the lion. Oh yes! And Allie. She just freaks me out sometimes. And I can tell you one of my stories that i made in school. The Arctic. By Josie Konchar.

There is many animals in the Arctic. polar bears, chickmonks, and hmmm, what was it?...penguins. The Polar Bear has blubber. He is very good at fighting. He eats fish. And has white fur. The penguin is black and white. It eats fish too. I like penguins because they are cute. The chickmonk is copied off from my story of Alvin and the Chickmonks. Let's boogie. Where was I? And the chickmonks has fur. Just like the polar bear. The chickmonk is cute, too. That's all for today!

I am like a monkey! My mom even calls me a monkey. That's all for today! This time for real!!