....Calvin decided to break AND dislocate his pinky last night, instead of brushing his teeth. Yes, this was the same child and in fact the same arm that we took the cast off of on Friday. Clearly he needs to be punished.
But Dr. Mom does it again! I am a real whiz at diagnosing broken bones through facial expressions. (I'll be in Tulsa next week giving a lecture entitled Diagnosis: Physiognomy!)
Calvin didn't cry when he injured himself (or rather I didn't hear his cries of pain over the general din produced by 5 children not brushing their teeth all at once) so when he approached me a few minutes after the fact, I wasn't suspecting a crippling injury of any kind. I turned to look at him and said,
"What happened to YOU?!? You look terrible! Are you going to throw up?" (I like to give the children quiet little encouraging words like this right before bed. It soothes them.)
He lifts up his hand to reveal a wonky pinky and says "I was running around because Sid was chasing me and I fell against the metal bed frame in my room and hurt my hand and now I can't get my pinky to unbend!"
I gave him my most disappointed frowny face and said "Well! You've totally broken your pinky!" (Traumatic moments always bring out the Valley Girl in me. Just like how stark-raving-mad Tatiana reverts to her Puerto Rican accent whenever she is feeling the pressure of her dream being put in the hands of the American Peoples. Same thing.)
So Calvin flees in hysterics. I go to inform Pie I am taking Calvin to the ER (my kids simply CAN NOT injure themselves before the sun goes down, ever) and then it's just the two of us again, spending an evening of quality time in The Most Expensive Place on Earth.
Enjoying his evening after the x-rays. SpongeBob on the telly at 10:30 at night? Calvin's dream come true!
I feel that a lot of conversation about the importance of wearing clean underwear at all times could be better put to use on the topic of wearing socks that don't completely mortify your mother. Because, come on. Socks are way more likely to be seen by random passers-by than your Underoos.
Arrived: 10:00 pm
5 comments:
Oh no! Do you remember that I have a broken pinky? And do you remember how I want to remedy that broken pinky? Let's hope Calvin's heals much better.
Poor guy. And poor you. But I am impressed with your "let me look at you" diagnosis tool. That's impressive.
Thank you. You may not have realized this, but I am rather impressed with my self, myself. Although to be honest, maybe this only works with Calvin. And Sid's friend Addison. Because that is as far as my research goes. --But don't be surprised if there is a reality series some day soon that features just people's faces and the question Broken, or not Broken?
What are the odds. Never let that Calvin get hit by lightning the FIRST time.
Calvin's socks remind me of an evening not too long ago. I parked it on the floor for scripture reading and about keeled over at the stench that was permeating my space. I thought for sure someone tooted, but then looked over and saw that Thomas' stinky sock covered feet were inches from my face....YUCK! I wondered if detergent really could cure the stench. I think boys' socks are moving up on my "things that gross me out" list.
So glad that Calvin's pinkie is ok! :) You're a trooper of a mom!
Poor guy! What a bad luck....
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